“Don’t wish me happiness – I don’t expect to be happy it’s gotten beyond that, somehow. Wish me courage and strength and a sense of humor – I will need them all”. ~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh
The weekend before last marked the beginning of the Chinese New Year. Ordinarily, I can’t say I’ve ever paid much attention to Chinese New Year’s, mostly because I’m not Chinese. However, its significance was called to my attention through a couple of coincidences. For one thing, I didn’t even realize it was Chinese New Year’s when I arrived at my friend’s house for dinner that night. We were talking about Feng Shui and she alerted me to the fact.
Oddly, on my way to her house I decided to stop and buy us both flowers. Needless to say, it’s not every day I bring a friend flowers; let alone, have a second bouquet in tow for myself. But we had both been experiencing some challenges as of late, so on a whim I thought, “Sometimes a girl just needs flowers!” I found out (after the fact) that giving flowers and decorating your house with flowers is one of the traditions of Chinese New Years.
The reason we were talking about Feng Shui is that over this past year I’ve attempted to Feng Shui my entire home and my friend was the person who had first suggested it. I began my Feng Shui experiment this past summer. Arguably, from my novice perspective my Feng Shui is still a work in progress. However, it wasn’t long until I began to see some startling results and it seemed like things were really looking up. Then, just around American New Years (December/January) things that seemed like promising opportunities [at first] weren’t really panning out and I was finding myself, a little disappointed.
Chinese civilization is so ancient, sometimes I think American and even European comprehension of its (varied) rituals is almost impossible for us to understand. That said, truly ancient customs have always spoken to me more genuinely than more contemporary ones. And the more ancient the custom, the more ‘coincidences’ I tend to see, in terms of the timing of those rituals, aligning with the rhythms and changes I see occurring in my and my friends lives.
It’s been my experience that New Years in Western culture has always lacked any firm investment in respecting and reflecting on the past in a meaningful way. This may be why the whole “New Years Resolution” thing has never really resonated with me. It always felt like so much posturing with little follow through. Our lives, and in particular, the changes we take the time to make thoughtfully, usually unfold over time; rather than in a single declaration of immediate intent.
It struck me as interesting that on the eve of this Chinese New Years I should have some clarity about what I want and hope for in the coming year. I was also doing some reflecting on recent events in my life and what they might mean. The inner dialogue of those reflections went something like this, “Jeez God, what do you want from me? I Feng Shui. I pay my taxes. I try to be a good person. What am I doing wrong here?” As you can see, when left to my own devices, I’m a very deep thinker.
One of the over arching themes the evening I was having dinner with my friend was the notion of courage. What is it? What does it mean to us? Who has it and who doesn’t? The next evening I went out with some other friends and the same theme of courage came up again. I began to realize that courage, (in myself and in others), really matters to me.
I got home that evening, to my Feng Shui-ed abode and had something of a revelation. I decided it was time for me to, (stop apologizing), take a deep breath, and truly own my own courage. To look around me and take the time to acknowledge, respect and support all the people in my life who have it, (and most of them do). I know now it’s an essential element [at least to me] of living a meaningful life.
You can’t expect to move your furniture around and have everything magically start coming up roses. Something I’m beginning to understand about Feng Shui is that it isn’t magic. It’s seems more like reflective, energetic, physics (if there is such a thing?) rather than some magical, (world of Disney), barrier that keeps bad things away. I believe it shifts energy and [by proxy] your awareness of that energy, so that no matter what you’re confronted with, you respond more appropriately. Once you’re doing this there’s bound to be something of a domino effect in both directions.
Perhaps, the Feng Shui felt as if it was working in my favor at first, because it opened up opportunities I thought I wanted, but opportunities are only valuable when you choose the right ones. Which means it’s my responsibility to respond to them correctly. In some ways, I think it’s kind of like the ultimate, physical manifestation of “be careful what you wish for”. When I think about it in this way, then the “see-saw” effect I experienced after making those changes in my home may mean the Feng Shui is working; because things don’t happen in a vacuum.
If you’re attempting to balance and harmonize your environment with nature; than a sew-saw isn’t really a bad metaphor. Because life is pretty much like a see-saw and we only find ourselves in perfect balance for an instant. Its how we ride the waves up and down that determine how often, (and how aware we are), when we are in perfect balance. And if courage is important to me, then [it seems to me] the Feng Shui might bring both energies, positive and negative, [in relation to courage] in to my space. Because it’s up to me to distinguish one from the other; and then call upon my courage to make the appropriate choices based on those distinctions.
In retrospect, I realize the Feng Shui helped keep me more balanced when I was confronted with adversary and disappointment. Conditions and situations that, in the past might have caused a lot of drama, (even if only, in my own little head), just seemed to pass with little more than a sigh; which translates to almost zero energy wasted on unmovable factors (i.e., negativity). Feng Shui can’t make things that suck not happen, but I’m pretty sure it helped me gain a perspective so that when things did suck, they seemed to suck a whole lot less.
There is no way to live a life of courage and not expect to encounter obstacles. In fact, without obstacles we wouldn’t really need courage. It’s been my observation that what distinguishes cowards from the courageous is not strength, or guts, or nerve, or even noble endurance. It’s the ability to look, dead in to the eye, of that which you don’t want to see; and without compromising your principles or values; nor doubting your own truth; nor trying to change that which stands before you; honestly and deliberately acknowledging it. And then, figure out a way to navigate in the direction you were meant to sail; and not let yourself be distracted by the power that those obstacles have to hurt or disappointment you.
According to the Chinese Zodiac we are entering the year of the snake. Intuitively, I believe this to mean it’s about shedding old skin and leaving behind outmoded patterns and ideas, reinvention, regeneration, transformation and change. I was born under the year of the snake and for most of my life I’ve considered myself to be an extremely fortunate person, who has never been particularly lucky. But luck is just that, the turn of a wheel or the flip of a coin.
So, on the first day of Chinese New Year I went out and bought myself some lucky bamboo. This (as I understand it) is not a Chinese New Years tradition. It’s a symbol of good luck throughout the year. I am hoping it will bring me good luck, but I didn’t buy it just for that reason. I also bought it to be reminded, quite simply, that luck exists; and if we have the courage, and respond appropriately, sometimes a little luck is all we need.
Reblogged this on Steph Velander.
The see-saw metaphor is wonderful. Immediately called to mind the yin/yang — the dark and the light, the good and the bad — both of which must exist in equal measure for there to be balance in the world. Love, love, love it.
Also loved your line, “I’ve considered myself to be an extremely fortunate person, who has never been particularly lucky.” Damn, many of us can certainly relate…
fabulous post.
This is One of those Posts that I am going to HAVE to re-read several times in several different mind sets…SO MUCH there!!
Inspiring!!
Jamie